• Sam Palmer

Stick Up

Updated: May 19, 2021




"Nobody move!" the voice echoed off the marble walls of the bank causing everyone to turn. The booming voice belonged to a muscle-y giant in a tuxedo who was standing on top of the bank managers desk wielding a massive gun.


"Dammit," I growled, pulling Kelly closer to me as I felt her little hand grip mine tighter.


"If you all do exactly as I say," the tuxedoed man smirked. "Nobody will get hurt. Well, most likely. You never know what kind of mood I'll be in."


I rolled my eyes. These new villains were so gimmicky. I looked down at Kelley. "Sweetie, everything will be alright. It'll be over soon, okay?"


Her eyes were large, but she nodded slowly and turned back to the doors as more figures walked in. A statuesque woman in a sparkly blue evening gown sauntered in, throwing her white fur stole over her shoulder as she looked around the room. Behind her were three masked men dressed as butlers, each holding a silver tray with a weapon on it.


"You have got to be kidding me," I mumbled as I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a migraine coming on.


"Thank you, Tux," the woman winked as the tuxedoed man stepped down off the desk and took his place beside her.


"Which one of you is the manager?" Her voice was low for a woman. Her diamond earrings caught the light as she slowly scanned the room, looking at the heads of the crouched and terrified hostages. A hand slowly rose from the crowd just a few feet from where we stood. A sweaty fat man in a grey suit looked up.


"Ah!" she exclaimed stepping forward, her heels clicking loudly on the floor as she weaved through the huddled bodies until she was standing just beside us, looking down at the bank manager. "Do you know who I am?"


The man looked up, and nodded slowly "You're M-M-Miss Lady."


"That's right!" Her white gloved hands flew up and gave him a golf clap. "And do you know why I'm here?"


The bank manager hesitated a moment, before looking up and nodding no.


"Ah," Miss Lady pouted. "And we were off to such a good start. Mosely!" One of the butler henchman stepped forward and offered his silver tray to Miss Lady. Without even turning her head, she reached to the tray and picked up a small Smith & Wesson 9mm.


"Here we go," I mumbled, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I felt Kelley fidget beside me, too. We were both getting impatient.


Miss Lady rested the barrel of the gun against the bank manager's forehead. "Now, let's try this again shall we? Why am I here?"


The manager's face screwed up as he began to cry. "The Heart Diamond."


"The Heart Diamond, that's right!"Miss Lady beamed. "I knew you could do it. Now you're going to take me to it."


"I-I-I can't!" he pleaded.


"Just shoot him!" Tux called.


"For crying out loud!" I had run out of patience, and Miss Lady, Tux, and the manager all turned to me.


"We got a tough guy!" Tux said, racking his weapon and stepping in my direction.


"Wait a minute," Miss Lady lowered her gun and turned towards me, eyes squinted as she studied my face. "I don't believe it! Tux, do you know who this is?!"


Tux stopped and stared at me, not making the connection. Miss Lady stepped closer, covering her mouth with excitement. I felt Kelley inch closer to me, wrapping one arm around my right leg.


"You're-" Miss Lady whispered as she stared me.


"Night Terror!" Tux exclaimed.


"Yeah." I said flatly. "And my wife is waiting in the car so if you-"


"Dude, nobody has seen you in years! Where have you been?" Tux's crossed his arms smiling at me.


"Well," I looked down and gave Kelley a small smile.


"Oh! Of course!" Miss Lady squatted down, arms slung over her knees, one hand still holding her 9mm, as she smiled at Kelley. "Hello, little girl. Do you know how absolutely awful your daddy used to be?"


"Don't-" I began.


"He's nothing compared to Mommy!"


"Oh!" Miss Lady's eyes got wide and she looked up at me laughing. "How adorable! And who is Mommy?"


I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked up at the clock and gave a small chuckle. "Oh, she goes by Sharon now."


"Sharon? Wait, you don't mean-" Tux's eyes got wide and he shot a nervous look at Miss Lady.


"You married Banshee?" she stood suddenly, her smile disappearing.


"Mommy!" Kelley squealed as she turned to the entrance of the bank.


We all turned to see my wife Sharon, formerly Banshee, storm through the door in her pale blue cotton shirt, khakis and white keds. Her brows were furrowed and fists clenched. She was pissed. I shot a glance at Miss Lady and Tux, who were both slack jawed staring at my wife. I felt bad but I had tried to warn them. I turned back to Sharon, and gave a small wave. "Hey, honey."

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