Updated: May 19, 2021
"Are you drunk?!"
My fairy godmother hiccuped, staring at me wide eyed. "Absolutely not!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose feeling a migraine coming on. All I wanted was for her to leave me alone but that was proving to be harder than I'd thought.
"Please just leave me alone. I release you of all your fairy godmother-ly duties," I waved my hands in the air as if I'd just cast a spell on her, the motion appeared to make her nauseous, sending her reeling backwards as she hiccuped again.
"I've already hiccup told you. That's not how hiccup it works." She blinked slowly as she steadied herself. "I'm not released of my contract until you have a happy ending."
I felt my pulse quicken, and palms begin to sweat as my patience became replaced with anger. I stared at my drunken fairy, exhaling slowly through my nose as I chose my words carefully.
"The last time I trusted you, I lost everything. Everything."
"A simple miscommunication, dear."
"A simple miscommunication?! I beat a man half to death! He's suing me and I'm facing attempted murder charges!"
She stared at me for a moment, and I was unsure if she'd understood a word I said let alone the weight of it. She finally blinked, opening her mouth as another hiccup escaped.
"My dear. We've been over this. I simply misheard-"
"I wanted to MEET the love of my life! You made me BEAT the love of my life!"